Scream of Silence II

I was on the loop, yet I was far afar. I wanted to do, but would end up screaming from this end only; and that was it I know. But may be the scream had been important, I felt. It indeed had been enough of silence.

Though I had always felt, 'Silence speaks more than words', but how come we expect the listener to understand our 'silence' in the society/place where our 'words' remain unheard.

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Freeing the Thoughts

Its been a while I thought like to write, write the unwritten ones…May be many things were moving around in my mind at the same time, so things were coming out in pieces. Every time I would start writing, fill in some notes, stare at them and suddenly my hands would stop. Thought of the "blog rules" would pop up in my mind then, 'if you are writing it for yourself, then you are not doing the right way' it said !!

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Did you Vote for Pushpa Basnet ?

Pushpa Basnet with her kids J

It had always been like I will be voting for Pushpa Basnet , but had always forgotten to do so in my daily chores and today I at least took up the time to give my generous 10 votes a day to her.  I thank Ms Anita Thapa, whose tweet let me get on the move. I hope this makes a difference.

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The Guru of Knowledge !!

गुरुर ब्रह्मा गुरुर विष्णु , गुरुर देवो महेश्वरः | गुरुर साक्षात परम ब्रह्म , तस्मै श्री गुरुवे नमः ||

The Guru of knowledge, 

The Guru who leads you ahead, 

The Guru who is more than anything… 

Tribute to such a Guru for whose 'Admiration', words are always less…

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Happy-go-Lucky :-)

Its not always the big-bright things that makes you happy, mostly it’s the small ones, those matters’ indeed…

The view of the blue sky sometimes, the rising sun, the sun at its plight burning the land, or be it be the dusk,

Beautiful Morning-Sun @Mahendranagar

Be it be the rains’ sometimes, or no rain at other times,

The gust of a warm breeze or a chilled wave, leaves you smiling out many times….

The day with loads of work or sometimes a no workday,

The busy streets, or the lame roads with no one anywhere...

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Swarm of Thoughts ~~~!!

Swarm of thoughts-

withering and slithering

Feelings-

pipping and popping

My existence-

dwindling and doodling

I -

grumbling and pondering

The situations-

falling and rising

I-

gathering and handling

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Power of Words

'You know what words touch me badly,' she suddenly said,' but this badly I never knew, I literally cried reading those verses you know'.

'Though they did not say much, but I felt as if they were pointing at me, shooting at me and I felt like I was the culprit,' she was complaining.

I could feel the pain in her words, I thought to console her, but then I felt it would indeed be better if  I let her go off in her own verses as pain was dipping through every words of her.

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'Samir'-The Story of Hope

My visit to Dalla Homestay this time from 22-24 September, 2012 brought different scenarios and emotions thereafter. One of the very illustrative is my meeting with SAMIR !

Samir, I met him quite accidentally on that day. It was indeed a general walk through the Khata corridor and some general observations of the area. 

He was sitting beside the fire when I met him in the foggy morning. As any other day I would have talked to any kid, I started my talk with him asking doesn't he have school ?

'It's holiday today,' he said genuinely.

'Where do you study?' I continued.

'There's a blind school in Babai, I study there,' was his prompt reply.

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Dalla Homestay, through my eyes

Its been three times in the past 10 months I have visited Dalla and every time I come to this place there's always a new flavor in the same story of CONSERVATION. Conservation the word in itself is very vast and its meaning more grounded. But seeing Dalla, the village; Shiva, The Community forest; and Mangal Tharu, the leader and the way people are dedicated to conservation is the real example of what naturalists define conservation as "the use, management, and protection of resources so that they are not degraded, depleted, or wasted, and is available on a sustainable basis for use by present and future generations".

Way to the Homestay...!!

Dalla homestay, Suryapatuwa VDC of Bardiya is the village of the user groups from the Shiva community forest which is a part of the Khata biological corridor. A biological corridor represents the path connecting two protected areas from where wild animals move. Thereby Khata corridor connects Bardiya National Park in Nepal to Katarniaghat Wildlife Sanctuary in India. It is one of the functional biological corridors of Nepal as Rhinos, Elephants and other wild animals are known to move between the two trans-boundary protected areas through the Khata corridor.

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Memories Down the Lane..[The Sunscreen Song]

09 May 2011

Naya Baato, Sanepa, Kathmandu

It was one of the regular afternoons when we were having our lunch, and discussing on several topics. Lunch time with different discussions used to be the best part of the day at Resources Himalaya Foundation (RHF) with Pralad Sir (Dr. Pralad B. Yonzon). 

As any other day, that day talks about the "Sunscreen speech" popped on. One of our colleagues at the Environmental Graduates in Himalaya (EGH), Mr. Anuj Pradhan started the talk and there we went having further discussions. 

The very next morning Pralad Sir E-mailed us the following note. I liked it then, I like it now...

So just felt like sharing and Yeah, "Don't you forget to WEAR SUNSCREEN" :-)

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Life Goes On..

She came out of the huge concrete building and stepped on the new way. The path was dusty, the wind was blowing and along with it the dust was storming around. Phew those tiny particles clenched her eyes; she took out the goggles from her bag and put it on her eyes. Yes, it was the must for the eyes to soothe in situations as such, a sudden thought arose. With these thoughts she moved along the path unknown. All this was new to her and she did not know where the path will lead her to. With utter confusion, she moved along. She looked around, she was not only the one moving along this path, in fact everyone else was moving.

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Once Upon A Time We were Kids !!

Just as I was getting through many of the thoughts a more prominent thought came upon and I sat back wondering, Oh god ! there really was a lovely time called "Childhood" and once upon a time we were "Kids"..So innocent, so childish, so carefree...No artisism, no phony way of living, no any fake says and nevertheless just the way we are.

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The Strength of Weakness

She gave me the A4 size paper with the heading on it written in bold letters Women-Power.

'And as the title tells, you have to write something on 'Power', 'Strength' and all such craps that shows the strong feminine side you know,' she was narrating me whole the story of Power-play.

'The way those women sustained their hopes, seek their way ahead and make their life more strong kind of things and this is how our story will go- A Power-Puff play,' she grinned and  moved out of my room and left me back with my thoughts.

She is the editor of the magazine I write for. She always got hold of me with the plot and narrated the whole stuff she wanted to get out of me.

'You need to present the women-power in much more bolder way OK,' she had just said.

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End of it..."The Story"

It was raining heavily when we were having that coffee. She had not spoken a bit from the time she entered my room. She just sat staring outside the window and I sat seeing her, silence surrounded our being.

'Before a story starts again, I felt the old ones should end,' she broke the silence suddenly. 'Closing the chapters had never been that easy you know, cause there's always a new story to tell, be the pages be old. Moreover, the so-called old ones are so close to your heart, that you dun jus wanna let them go.'

She stopped, sighed for a while, looked at me and then started saying again,'And yeah they do reveal and come up with some new insights every time you get through those old pages…But ends are always ends -better for everyone I guess. You can't take the dead sculpos with you for long,' she was saying.

She always narrated things in this way I thought to myself,with some figures, with the anecdotes and with those some parts/ plays/

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'She' My friend- II

I was just sitting and playing with my dog when she entered inside. As usual she moved on with the pace of the cat and I  couldn't feel of anyone else's presence, other than me in the room. It was my dog, who lovingly moved towards her wagging its tail. Wow, it was 'She'-my friend, how much had I longed to see her and there she was before me.

Starting with the Hello-Hi we got into having chit-chat over the ongoing tits-bits.

"Sometime its the same thing/ same moments/ same place but you get a no-way out just getting your head along the same sort of businesses and that's it how it moves along,' she abruptly said in a wired tone as if she had been rehearsing these dialogues from a long time.

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Without yoU !!

You,

Without yoU at this end

At this place

Just your thoughts

Just your words

Moves around me

Hovers me

I,

Try to conceal

Try to convince

Disastrous those feelings sometimes

Devastating my being

Deranging the situation

at times

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What If ??

Just a thought..sometime some weird sometimes creative, sometimes this and sometime that, Ahh!! just as they are..<thoughts> ..they just take you to a nowhere situation at times.

I sometime really wish if only I wouldnot be thinking so much. It would have been lot better not be a thought box. May be then I would get into some kind of peace and more of solace, I guess.

But nay I knew it won't happen.

As if things wanted to be as such - may be things were better on as such, a part of mind thought. But even then I didnot get into a right track, a right answer. And I know until I get into some concrete way out I will be rambling around with these thoughts mugging in ma mind.

Just again a thought popped in -- What if the story comes to an end ??

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'Me' The Unknown !!

The unknown me

The naïve me

Attaching to the unknown

Getting to get the unfounded

Confused, strong headed

Bewildered and thirsty again

Wish to get out of the cravings, the crying

But again entrapped in there

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The Wounded Soul !!

The wounded soul

The dearth way

The sickness in the feels

Ah!! Feels me why is it so

Sighs me... uhh cries me

And again Yuk!! The same condition

What if things would have been better

what if things were not the same

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The Melancholic SMILE..!!

He,

always smiling

always happy

thought we

His,

sadness never considered

never thought of

He,

forgot giggling

at times sniveled

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Narcissism Vs Admiration

When the debate of narcissism goes on around and the blame-game on social networks is always at heavy toll, I remembered the prologue of one of my favorite books "The Alchemist" and felt like sharing;

The alchemist picked up a book that someone in the caravan had brought. Leafing through the pages, he found a story about Narcissus.

The alchemist knew the legend of Narcissus, a youth who knelt daily beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he fell, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus.

But this was not how the author of the book ended the story.

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'She' My friend..

The voice from far aback called my name. I halted, was I really being called or was it my hallucination. I turned around and got astonished to see a figure running towards me. I waited for it to reach me. It was dusk and visibility was very less, so I could not figure out who the person really was. As it approached, a blushing face could be seen.

'Hey hw u doing?' it said 'been a long long time'.

'Good', my answer was brief.

I was really surprised to see her. The person standing before me really looked like myself Or must say it was me before me. The same figure, same height, same eyes, same smile, same way of talking, God I was talking to myself I thought.

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A Void .. !!

Many a times many of the thoughts are moving around, sometimes scribbled and sometimes unscribbled those of the thoughts. But at times it happens like you feel the need to write, write just at the moment- may be its the best healer. So did I felt may be...

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Telling A Tale of Travel

Life indeed is a journey till it ends...Added one more of journey in a new conquest of the endless journey's so far...

It was on Monday last week, when I was planning for an International trip from Nepal to Nepal. Travelling is my passion and in fact who doesn't like to travel. With lot of thoughts/plans and amidst many confusions-dilemmas-and, the way our country was/is moving on I was excited for my travel. I knew ahead awaits an splendid life-time memory for me.

Well the excitement in all such woeful conditions was laid by the fascination of the travel stories told by my Grandpa. It has always been mesmerizing to hear from him. His travel stories to different parts of the country through India while there were inaccessible roads had always given me a charming impression and I was left aback wondering as a kid, how would it have been to travel for Nepal to Nepal through an International trip…;)

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Scream Of Silence..!!

                         Scream of that Silence...!!

When everything else in the world seemed so dumb, a voice from inside made a voice. It was a creak I felt, [it always happens, I supposed] but nay the voice was coming from a distant image and to my surprise, it was beckoning me. Speak up it said, its enough of silence now….!!

Sometimes I felt was it important to speak / was it that important to make up a voice?? A second thought came up at the instant Yes it really was....Enough of Silence have had been, Screamed the Silence.........

Seriously how long?? How much and why?? Why do we really need to be as such? Why do we need to stay quiet ?? Are the happenings just the results of our age-old habit of letting things go as it is. Or Are we caged with the slave mentality where we have no choice rather then obeying our masters and are not allowed to protest?

Yes, we are very optimistic "Everything Happens for Our Good" has been our age old optimistic theory…

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Self-realization..!!

Well talking of self-realization it have had been happening in different modes/ways in different stages of this 'life', as the journey continues. But at a time when there has been a storm of thoughts with the situation of the country, the situation of my place and situations' happening to change the course of my life ahead, critical thoughts were moving around again. Whoops….. l got crashed to a feel among all those different feels.

Seriously speaking, amidst all these chaos, all sort of movements, tea-coffee talks and chats all the way round you never know what is the thing that happens to touch u then and again. There's always something that just touches you the way round and you just get mesmerized with the feel. U never know what that special feel is…. It's just that u get moved on One to One…...

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As We Say < Quoting Mr. Bhagat and Myself >...:)

As you grow older, you will realize that you are Unique.

When you are little, all kids, want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later, you realize that you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict, as your goals may not match with others. And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark of living life dies.

So, never-ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

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Waves Of Thoughts via Bagmati...!!

Serene yet Worrisome BAGMATI

Well, some moments are always the same and so are Some feels...You actually happen to have the same emotions time and then when you are in/around some places or some moments...

Well speaking it off, being around Bagmati has always had me get captured into some such feels may be which cannot be expressed by few of my words but even then I could not stop my hand from jotting them down and post it inhere.

Seriuosly, when one just feels Bagmati mind gets pious indeed

The stillness it has.

The ray of Hope,

The Religious vibes,

The happiness for some, and reluctantly the sadness for others....

Where the Bagmati attaches you to the world thereby it takes you away from the world [the cremation...oops..:(..]

Witnessing all the goodness and badness of life...witnessing the life-the death, witnessing the love for it, witnessing the love and hatred around it, witnessing the 'shraddha' for it and also witnessing the politics over it.....

There is the BAGMATI always ready to give, yet nothing will it need…

Metta !!

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Time and Then…!!

I had promised I would not stop writing, Stop expressing myself and will be in this world. But time and then some circumstances, sometime me myself and sometimes some of the wanted-unwanted things just halted me.

I knew I belonged to this part of the writes, but things were/are as such. Its like when u have so much more to say then also you don't really find words…….Really there's so much more of feels to be shared that words are themselves being captured in their being.

Time and then, one really gets stuck off as such and gets hovering around …Sigh!!

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Reviving the Memoirs...!! !! !! !

I Stood for a while…Recalled....Retraced my steps…..!! !

Looking back to B.S. 2068.....it had been phenomenal ….

Some happiness, some frowns

Some ups and some downs

Some meets, some departs

Something got, some- lost

Some tasks finished, some pending

Way Up and Way Down,

It brought some so so very painful times- -Never Imagined of [departure of the one who had been more than anything  ... :(...]

Some moments - -

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So says Mr. Bhagat..!! !!

Crashed over some Chetan Bhagat words and felt like to post them...!! !!

“Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it’s life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember – if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be. 

Disappointment’ s cousin is Frustration, the second storm.

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Moods..!!

I stopped, halted for a while again and thought…urrghhssh why a day as such happens to be around….Its above your head sometimes and sometimes its just drooping down around U…I just can't handle anymore jasto hunchha and again then try to shape back the things and calm out....

Oops..LIFE has have got different meanings recently ...!!!

Kanchan

At her office desk, Dhangadhi

Homing time...

March 18, 6:25 PM

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Rambling thoughts..!!

Many a times U are tired of many things..thought me for a while, looked around...turned back, peeped outside the window again and spoke to myself....Though U wish to be somewhere around, then again U feel like to remain identity less..y so...

Paused me for a while...asked to myself for some questions but naah..no answers came out and i stopped...

This is it...

Leave thinking some more and may be start painting your life, with those colors..!!

Peace!!

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