Dandelions and Running Thoughts !

Trying to make writing a routine, yet not sure-how long? More motivations needed !!

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Felt like writing about parenthood, this is one of the topics I have wanted to write yet not been able to write. I don't know why, but something or the other things keeps coming as a hindrance. Most importantly me. I have been a slug in writing and reading. And I don't like this "me" who puts off everything.

Being a parent-a mother, has been a wonderful experience at many times and a door-lock for someone like me who dreams a lot at many other times. I cannot express this to be honest. I don't understand if I became mother because I so wanted to be a mother (like many people say, that they tried for motherhood so bad and how not being able to have conceived frustrated them) or it was part of the system and I wanted to overtake into this journey. I can't say it properly. Deep down I understand and tend to think I dread to accept that. Acceptance is so hard. A loving kid makes the journey just so wonderful that is for sure. And I cannot be less thankful for this any day. But maybe that I have taken so many burden on my shoulder that I am already tired. Tired! Mentally!! Physically!! And I really want to come out of this tiredness. I am trying hard but literally I don't know how to. And I am so demotivated that I don't even have the motivation of trying it. And this comes as so heavy at times, I can't move my hands writing it.

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I want to go back to my childhood where everything was so happy with no any shadow of any other kind of pains or uncertainties or anything. I wish I had nothing to think of and just things to merry! I want the bright white dandelions flying around the blue sky and I wish I were running towards them happily with no any heavy feelings.

Let peace come to life!

Metta!
Image: Dandelion

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Writing is therapeutic. Right?

So here starts the journey of writing, writing again. A and I have agreed to write. Write something each day? Maybe for at least an hour or lesser, but we will write. For how long don't know yet, but I feel we will write something. Writing in itself gives me life, makes me liberated, and makes me feel good. The other day my counselor was asking me, what do you do for self care? I said I listen to music, dance, move around...I forgot to say I write, why? Because I am not writing as much as I would otherwise. Writing mostly is therapeutic for me. It acts as a soothing balance. But still I have been skipping writing. Ask me why? and I won't be able to tell. If we keep writing something each day, maybe I would be able to tell some more. After I would finish this maybe I would be able to tell some more too. But yeah! one thing for sure is writing is such a wonderful feeling. Makes the heart go glee. It's a 1 hour for us to write and the fondfulness has already grown, hands don't stop and I am keeping typing. I can hear A typing too (he should be feeling good too? Maybe? Maybe not? We will know in a while :-))!

I like using a picture when I write something. A picture adds some feel in the write, it's a pretty distraction too I agree. Because when I started searching for a picture for this blog, I used up some moments of my writing- though I found a beautiful picture :-)! A girl sitting in the jungle, by the side of the river and writing. How good is the feeling? How so good? I can't tell. Such a pure feeling. Even the thought makes me so happy. Nature is such a good feeling. These are the things of self care right?

Writing is therapeutic...right? :-)

I found a good quote by Oscar Wilde on self-care "to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." So rightly said. So nicely said. Many times when we care for whole the world (which we think we do) we forget loving ourselves some more each day. And we need loving ourselves the most each day. Maybe someone telling us they love us, care for us-will make us feel good and loved (it mostly does). Why is there then a dearth of love for ourselves? Why we fear loving ourselves some more? And doing all the good we can do to ourselves?  Why do we step a bit back when it comes to us? Why self-care, self-love is hard even though we never get tired of telling, hey you-I love you. Why can't we take the same approach for ourselves and tell ourselves," hey me! I love you. I love you so much that my life would be nothing without you." This would have given such a nice feeling and helped us grow some more too right?

Dear me,

Please love yourself a bit more. Some more from today.

Yours,
Me

Metta!!
Image: Theodora Goss

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Days !!

Classes are running in this "global pandemic" and I am a #GraduateMom... Oh ! Hel(p)lo!

I seek peace!

Metta!!

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