Some days am pretty enthusiastic (period) and some other days I feel like I am in a new shit! I get into this notion quite often “man! this can be done and that” and then when nothing is done am like, nothing’s gonna happen like this for sure. It’s some pretty pity stage some days and some other days, it doesn’t matter at all.
I doubt on my expressions some days! This passing thought pauses me around. And I wish! I wish good things to come to me and us and everyone.
Metta !
Maybe some days you just want to be heard and or have a talk. A talk that you thing is so important that it would change the world for you. Or just pave the path to changing the world or just make you think “oh! An interesting way of thinking” or just something that’s a lot worth to you. And you want to have deep conversations about it. And you expect others to listen to you the same way. And if you don’t find the same kind of enthusiasm from others that makes you frustrated or you are just so tired that all you can show off is frustration and that’s it.
Maybe I have been spoilt being around some of those my people who listened to me, who did think I made sense and who gave me insights on my thoughts. And I guess I miss that!
I miss that a lot.
Metta!!
जीवन,
कथाबाट कथासम्म।
भन्नु धेरै भन्न नसकिने धेरै
सोच धेरै सपना धेरै
इनिहरु कै बिचमा बाँच्दै गर्दा को जीवन
कथाबाट कथासम्म
हिजो मात्रै थियो सबै जना मिलि हासी खुसि समय बिताएको , अनि आज वहाँ हुनु हुदैन। सपना जस्तै बिलिन हुनु भयो। बाकि छ त केवल कथा हरु। ति धेरै कथा हरु मध्येको एउटा कथा म सानो हुँदाको -
६/७ वर्ष कि थिए हुला म आमा बिरामी भएको हुँदा। त्यो कमुलो मनमा खै कहाँबाट यस्तो आएछ कि आमालाई केहि भए म नि बाच्ने छैन यो संसारमा। आमा बिना केहि छैन यो जीवनमा। बस् वहाँ हुनु पर्यो अथवा जीवन केहि छैन। वहालाई सन्चो भयो अनि जीवन पहिले जसरि बढ्दै गयो। विभिन्न आरोह अवरोह र थप कथाहरु। यिनी कथाहरु बुन्दा बुन्दै सकियो हाम्रो हजुरआमा को कथा। यो पालि त्यो सानी कन्चनले सोचेको जस्तो यो ठुली कन्चन जान सकिन वहाँ संग, न जान सकी वहाँको छेउमा नै।
45 days of her departure. Of many things there came a time when we wished she got better and not suffer. And that was the time for the first time in life I realized that in life there comes a time when "not suffer" means "not live" i.e. "leave the life". Such a weird feeling. Such a weird experience. And from far all I could do was look at things helplessly. Cry out aloud or in silence. Only to find my sisters and mom comforting from far. Letting me be there. Be in the last rituals. Ankit giving me that space of mine and comforting and Aarvik crying with me. Times were sad. Times are sad. But we live. That was that. अनि यो कथा सकियो। र पछाडी छोडी दियो बाकि कथा। अनि नया कथा बुन्ने साहस र धैर्यता।
जीवन,
यो कथाबाट त्यो कथासम्म
#Metta !
Not very new says. Not much fancy stories. Just some tiredness and a mind full of thoughts.
Metta!
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