Happy Days: Aarvik's Days

Nov 3, 2017: Aarvik was born after 37 weeks and 6 days of our pregnancy.

Dec 9, 2020: Aarvik is 37 months and 6 days into his journey of this life.

Happy born day and the days thereafter Aarvik. You are always loved <3

It’s wonderful to realize how time flew from days to weeks to months and years. And it’s been a wonderful journey with Aarvik. As parents both me and Ankit get excited all the times, while also getting tired, overwhelmed and annoyed at some other times. The journey has been so full of emotions and every other new thing. This is phenomenal. Just yesterday he found some chocolate from my bag and suddenly said “C for CHOCOLATE” as he wanted to have one. We were like “Wait! What?” and smiled over. There are such random, unexpected while amazing moments that keeps happening around always and I wholeheartedly wish if we could capture everything that Aarvik does with a 24 hours video surveillance wherever we are. These uncountable moments where he would do something new, say something cuter and leave us smiling and I wish duh! It should have been captured-just to relive these moments again later.

Life is certainly more beautiful with his presence, with his childness, with his contagious happiness 😊! But there are also times when I would be like okay it’s enough! Mostly at times when I am working on something and he would need me continuously. It’s a different kind of struggle between the need of the baby and my own needs. (He waited for me till past 11 PM even yesterday and did not sleep until I got with him in bed). These are the reminders to myself that such happenings are gonna go long and I have to manage my life and time within these.

On a side note, his birth and the time thereafter reminds me of the relationships that have grown around me. Looking back at my life with Aarvik, makes me feel different. As different things changed in between. My thoughts changed, my worldview changed and also changed the people around me. My faith and belief on certain people kept on strengthening some more, while on some kept loosening. It was interesting for me as well to see my thought scenario changing. There are people and relations that has strengthened over time in these 37 months 6 days + 37 weeks 6 days, while others have just faded. And I am left with no energy to keep up with everything. This is one of those realizations. Flow with the flow. Care less. Love more- to whom it matters.

Metta!

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जीवन, कथाबाट कथासम्म

जीवन,

कथाबाट कथासम्म। 

भन्नु धेरै भन्न नसकिने धेरै 

सोच धेरै सपना धेरै 

इनिहरु कै बिचमा बाँच्दै गर्दा को जीवन 

कथाबाट कथासम्म 

हिजो मात्रै थियो सबै जना मिलि हासी खुसि समय बिताएको , अनि आज वहाँ हुनु हुदैन।  सपना जस्तै बिलिन हुनु भयो।  बाकि छ त केवल कथा हरु।  ति धेरै कथा हरु मध्येको एउटा कथा म सानो हुँदाको -

६/७ वर्ष कि थिए हुला म आमा बिरामी भएको हुँदा। त्यो कमुलो मनमा खै कहाँबाट यस्तो आएछ कि आमालाई केहि भए म नि बाच्ने छैन यो संसारमा। आमा बिना केहि छैन यो जीवनमा।  बस् वहाँ हुनु पर्यो अथवा जीवन केहि छैन।  वहालाई सन्चो भयो अनि जीवन पहिले जसरि बढ्दै गयो।  विभिन्न आरोह अवरोह र थप कथाहरु।  यिनी कथाहरु बुन्दा बुन्दै सकियो हाम्रो हजुरआमा को कथा। यो पालि त्यो सानी कन्चनले सोचेको जस्तो यो ठुली कन्चन जान सकिन वहाँ संग, न जान सकी वहाँको छेउमा नै। 

45 days of her departure. Of many things there came a time when we wished she got better and not suffer. And that was the time for the first time in life I realized that in life there comes a time when "not suffer" means "not live" i.e. "leave the life". Such a weird feeling. Such a weird experience. And from far all I could do was look at things helplessly. Cry out aloud or in silence. Only to find my sisters and mom comforting from far. Letting me be there. Be in the last rituals. Ankit giving me that space of mine and comforting and Aarvik crying with me. Times were sad. Times are sad. But we live. That was that. अनि यो कथा सकियो।  र पछाडी छोडी दियो बाकि कथा। अनि नया कथा बुन्ने साहस र धैर्यता।

जीवन,

यो कथाबाट त्यो कथासम्म

#Metta !

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Of Books and Reads !

There are phases in life when you happen to like some books a lot and then years later when you look back and turn over the same pages you don't find them as interesting as it used to be. As worthy as it was back then, but still, you have some feelings for the book-for the read you made. In this write I felt like talking about my love for books; when and how it started and where is it going these days.

My book love started back in the school days where reading stories from text books used to be fun. After finishing my own class reads, I used to finish up all the stories from my elder sister's English and Nepali text books. In addition to these there was a English supplemetary book for our school reads which used to be a short story book. All these instances geared up my love for the books.

Daniel Defoe was the first writer I read back in class 1 with "Robinson Crusoe" crowned up as the first novel. I have faint memories of Johann David Wyss with "The Swiss Family Robinson" in Class 2. I read more of Mark Twain in the latter classes with "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn". And then it was Sir William Shakespeare with "The tales from Shakespeare" which was a compilation of the tales by Shakespeare compiled by Charles Lamb and Mary Lamb. I read the "Geeta" and "Mahabharat" back then in my high school days.

At the same time back at home we used to read "comics" which kept on increasing the fascination for another genre of book. Chacha Chaudhary, Bhokal, Super Commando Dhruva, Naagraj, Pinky, Channi Chachi, Raman, Bankelal, Doga, Fantom, Mandrake used to add up the attraction always. Along with them there were monthly story books Nandan, Nanhe Samrat, Champak and others which were the added attractions. There always used to be chunk of books in both Nepali and Hindi back at home which always fascinated me. 

While I started reading the second genre of novels it started with Arundhati Roy's "The god of small things", Ayn Rand's "The fountainhead", Leo Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina". I read couple of Sidney Sheldon as well. Books kept on adding up and so on added were the reads.

In the later days, I liked Paulo Coelho after reading "The Alchemist". The Alchemist is one of its kind. It has impressed me in many ways. I was so impressed by the author the then that I immediately bought and read "By the river Piedra I sat and wept"-I liked the read. But then there was "Brida" and "Eleven minutes" which I started and never finished. Albeit there are many other reads which I have never been able to complete after starting but regarding these two reads they didn't fascinate me anytime, so I just stopped reading them. Lately I had a discussion with a friend of mine who was telling Paulo Coelho is such a lousy writer who writes of things and talks of fantasies and a dream world which never exists. I could not convince him with the idea that some books are just like first love, you love them a time and just like them with not much of attraction or things now but still like them.

Similar was the case for Robin Sharma. Sharma is famous for his motivational writes and speeches. The first read I made from him was "Who will cry when you die". I really liked the book then, which was a train souvenir while we were coming back from India to Nepal. Immediately after finishing the first read by Mr. Sharma I bought "The Monk who sold his Ferrari", I liked the read then too. This year I happened to buy one more motivational read by him which I could never turn even a page more. And these days, when I try reading the first two reads I made, I cannot read them anymore. Those books have some good memories with me and now they are like nonexistent being for me.

I like Murakami, Khaled Hosseini, Khalil Gibran and Kafka too. After reading "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini I tormented for a long time, it was that touching. I have grown up reading my grandpa Aatma Ram Ojha. I like books by Saru Bhakta, Jagadish Ghimire, B.P.Koirala, Parijaat. I keep on reading one or the other writer time and then. A single read by some while a chunk by others. I have been reading more of Richard Bach and John Green lately. I am impressed by both of these writers. Reads keep on adding on the list and my hunger for reading them keeps on increasing too.

As Ernest Hemingway says,“There is no friend as loyal as a book.”  I can't help adding my friends :-)

Happy reading folks!

Metta !!

Picture courtesy: Deviant Art

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My GURU !

There are so many instances in life when you are remembered Dr. Yonzon. You are the GURU who holds and will forever hold the sacred place in our hearts. Humans are emotional and we possess this human behavior of un-forgetfulness too. Coz at the end what remains is the memory and we lived some awesome moments with you making up the best of memories for life. 

I still feel ecstatic and proud for the moments spent with you, around you and I proudly post this memoir over here too. We love you Pralad sir.

Deep respects !

Pic taken at Resources Himalaya Foundation

And still I get *wordless* to write some more.
Stay in peace
Metta !

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October !

I sit at my table and stare at this screen as I start writing something bizarre. To be honest, I don't like *Octobers'*. October for me is like that unsung song which I sometimes feel would not have been sung at all.

A question strikes me time and then, "What would have happened if this month had not existed in the calender of our lives?" Had the happenings that happened in this month had not happened??"

It is said that "होनी को कौन टाल सक्ता हे". For me I still wish had the happenings un-happened.

I have some unwonted wishes and I wish at a point in my life they be fulfilled. One of them is still my wishing for *October* to not come in my life. After every September, I call upon November or any other month but not October.

~Only if wishes were heard~.

Metta !!

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The Guru of Knowledge !!

गुरुर ब्रह्मा गुरुर विष्णु , गुरुर देवो महेश्वरः | गुरुर साक्षात परम ब्रह्म , तस्मै श्री गुरुवे नमः ||

The Guru of knowledge, 

The Guru who leads you ahead, 

The Guru who is more than anything… 

Tribute to such a Guru for whose 'Admiration', words are always less…

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Waves Of Thoughts via Bagmati...!!

Serene yet Worrisome BAGMATI

Well, some moments are always the same and so are Some feels...You actually happen to have the same emotions time and then when you are in/around some places or some moments...

Well speaking it off, being around Bagmati has always had me get captured into some such feels may be which cannot be expressed by few of my words but even then I could not stop my hand from jotting them down and post it inhere.

Seriuosly, when one just feels Bagmati mind gets pious indeed

The stillness it has.

The ray of Hope,

The Religious vibes,

The happiness for some, and reluctantly the sadness for others....

Where the Bagmati attaches you to the world thereby it takes you away from the world [the cremation...oops..:(..]

Witnessing all the goodness and badness of life...witnessing the life-the death, witnessing the love for it, witnessing the love and hatred around it, witnessing the 'shraddha' for it and also witnessing the politics over it.....

There is the BAGMATI always ready to give, yet nothing will it need…

Metta !!

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